| The
7 mistakes to definitely avoid with replays and the 7 strategies to absolutely include
with replays
Can you hear them repeatedly say:"Gimme another drink." Alcoholics will often
ask for another drink, fulfilling their bizarre daily rituals designed to make themselves
feel good because they feel down.
Unfortunately, they usually try to drown themselves in booze to forget all about their
problems. Indeed, life for them is an up and down roller coaster ride that never
seems to stop. They gulp down one shooter after another just to escape from their
reality.
And
before too long, it becomes an unconscious act to drink as many drinks as possible around
the clock. Typically, they reach for a bottle or ask for a drink as soon as they're in any
social context.
Often,
they drink many bottles of hard liquor and gulp down beer as if it was water. Then they go
to sleep for hours and hours on end and wake up with a searing headache.
They're
so groggy, in fact, that they're unaware of their behavior. They forget and shake all over
when they're out of the stuff they pump into themselves like gasoline.
Also, as
a matter of routine, people will often offer them a drink to make them feel at ease
without realizing their dangerous mistake. Vodka, gin, wine, and beer, really there's no
difference for them, they just pour it down their throat as if it were juice.
Interestingly when they are lucid,
alcoholics who see their own drunken behavior on video replays are truly moved, appalled,
and motivated to change, but eventually drink even more alcohol as their most practiced
way of coping with strong and very mixed emotions.
Why
would people, who seem to have it all, regularly abuse their bodies and keep on doing it
over and over again? Is it because they are unhappy with themselves and their lives? Is it
because they want revenge on someone else? Who knows?
Unfortunately, it's not difficult to find other experiences with video replays that cause
havoc with one's problems.
For
example, in one scientific study, singles and couples with marital problems role played
their problems in front of a camera. Then during a video replay, the group watched their
tapes without comments or interruptions, and afterwards, only the other group members
discussed their problems for five minutes.
As a result these couples
experienced immediate and long-term dramatic and tragic outcomes. In fact in some cases,
couples without an effective behavioral alternative wanted to separate and commit suicide.
Really what do all these people have in common?
First,
they all had problems they truly wanted to change.
Secondly,
they did not have solutions to their problems.
Finally,
when they viewed their tapes, they saw how they behaved and experienced extreme pain with
others. So they were humiliated in front of others, instructed by inexperienced observers
in therapy themselves, without any solutions, until finally they reverted back to their
usual cravings (booze) or to negative thoughts of taking extraordinary means such as
separation or suicide.
In all these cases, there are seven mistakes to definitely
avoid in a video replay approach.
Don't let others choose the behavior or emotion you want to review and
change.
Don't select a difficult behavior change to start off with.
Don't stick with the same unsuccessful approach.
Don't let others see or control your video replays.
Don't review your disks or tapes in the presence of others.
Don't discuss your experience with people who don't have any solutions or
success with your experience.
Don't be stuck with only one solution (in fact you need at least three
alternatives to have choices and more are preferable).
Of course on the other side of the ledger, there are seven
"takes" to absolutely include in your video replay approach.
|
